Theater of Life: Hishakaku Theater of Life: Hishakaku
Dec
04
2007

Twitch-O-Meter: Joey’s MEGA-ToM! (Twitch-O-Meter turns 50, part one)

Posted by Ard Vijn at 3:56am.

Posted in Twitch-O-Meter .

Time flies when you’re having fun.

In May 2006 we started a (more or less) regular column called the Twitch-O-Meter.
The idea was simple: every Twitch-O-Meter (or ToM as we call it) consists of a list or a top 5 about any subject the writer cares to write about. Best, worst, most embarassing, as long as it gives a list of personal views.

It quickly went from a bi-weekly column to a monthly one…
...back to bi-weekly and finally to weekly.
It’s been weekly for months now this year, so lo and behold: already we are at the 50th Twitch-O-Meter!

To celebrate that we’re going to make this one a bit special. For starters it’s going to be written by several writers. This makes this a big Twitch-O-Meter. The biggest yet. It’s a MEGA-ToM!

In fact it’s become a 50 MEGA-ToM article and because of this we’re posting it in separate parts throughout this week. The subject is the same for all writers involved: list your 5 favorite directors.

First writer is Joey Fernandez:
Our resident expert on Phillipine cinema.
Who, despite evidence to the contrary, is NOT Topel Lee.

Heeeeeeeeeeere’s Joey!


There is a vociferous amount of people out there who hate the directors I like. Which is why I hang out in places like Twitch because there are people here who are not as mean…

But once you see my list of directors, you’ll understand why there is much disparagement.

Though if you see the “vision” of these directors I like, you’re my best friend forever.


Paul Anderson (without the T)

I like this guy better than the one with the T.  Not that he makes deep movies but the fact he makes shallow ones and is damn good at it.  I used to hate this guy.  I thought Soldier was pathetic and Event Horizon just wasn’t that good.  Then I saw Alien vs. Predator, which I thought got it.  Okay, it is dumb and it’s not McTiernan’s or Cameron’s but it was fun. Reverse predator claws, shrinking nets, Bishop, Predators in love, it was campy but masterpiecey.


Kurt Wimmer

Villified for Ultraviolet but got cult Internet praise for Equilibrium, this guy has got vision.  Gunkata is one of the funnest things to watch on the big screen.  He took John Woo’s bullet ballets and took it one notch higher.  Ultraviolet was weak but the fire “luau” scene in the end was fun.  We probably won’t be hearing much from this guy anymore but thanks for existing.


Rob Bowman

Reign of Fire was fun!  Dragons vs. Apaches.  Can’t get better than that.  Like I said, lots of people castigate Elektra, but I liked it.  (I liked Daredevil, too).  I’m not sure why people hate that movie so much but I guess here’s another guy who won’t be making movies for awhile.


Those who will still be making movies:


Neil Marshall

Up and coming and not fully discovered, it would be nice to keep it that way even longer.  Dog Soldiers was soldiers vs. werewolves in Scotland.  The Descent was pretty hot ladies vs. things in American caves in the Appalachians.  Doomsday is Mad Max in England.  This guy seriously rocks.  I think he is the greatest director in the world right now.  Up next is (after Doomsday is released) a zombie movie on an oil platform with a zombie sex scene!


Edgar Wright

Shaun of the Dead was good.  But Hot Fuzz was classic.  He got every action blockbuster cliché of recent memory and thus in turn made a pretty decent romp that was funny and enjoyable.  Looks like he’s been “discovered” seeing what it on his plate on imdb.com.  Let’s hope it doesn’t spoil him, but it normally does.


And a special mention, too:

Kerry Conran – Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow was one of the greatest movies.  Slow, plodding, but aesthetically, one of the best in a long time.  1920’s nostalgia, this guy should do John Carter of Mars.  Damn you, Harry.  Maybe he can still do Flash Gordon or a Tarzan.


People who didn’t make the list but I’ll mention anyway:

Darren Aronofsky – this guy shouldn’t write his stuff.  Seriously.  Requiem for A Dream was fantastic because it was based on another guy’s plot.  The Fountain was visually pleasing but disappointing.

Stephen Sommers – what is up with this guy?  After his fantastic The Mummy, he followed it up with an ass sequel.  But I guess that is the problem, don’t make sequels.  Looks like his plate is full again.  GI Joe?  We’ll see.  They should’ve given it to Peter Berg.

John Milius – what’s this old fart doing here?  I just want a Conan the King movie with Arnold and not necessarily directed by Milius.  He “might” be a bit too old.  But wait, it looks like he is directing a movie!

John Moore – the Sega Dreamcast commercial is still one to die for.  He was given Behind Enemy Lines on the sheer basis of that commercial.

David Twohy – Pitch Black good.  Sequel, not so good, as expected.  I’m not even sure if I saw Below.  But I must have.  Imagine, Aronofsky wrote it, wait, I don’t like him as a writer.

Others:
John Woo, Ang Lee, Tom Tykwer, Quark Henares, Topel Lee, Mark Steven Johnson (what’s with Ghost Rider!), Stephen Chow (Kung Fu Hustle didn’t quite cut it), Tarsem Singh (will we ever see him again?), Alex Proyas (what happened after The Crow, man?)

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Reader Comments

  1. Swarez 12/04/2007 @ 6:14am

    I like some of the directors you put there. Chalk me up as a Paul Anderson fan as well. I thought Event Horizon was fantastic, his best film and Resident Evil was very entertaining. AvP on the other hand was ass.
    Kurt Wimmer should direct more but have some decent producers who don’t butcher his stuff.

    Neil Marshall is a genius but I fear that Doomsday will be far too big for him to handle. But we’ll see.

    David Twohy did great things with Pitch Black and Below ( I love period horror) but Riddick was a mess but I don’t think it was really his fault, it was Vin Diesel’s baby after all.

    I completely disagree with you however on Stephen Sommer, Deep Rising was the closest he has come to make a decent movie. The rest are all overblown crap fests.

  2. Kurt Halfyard 12/04/2007 @ 6:31am

    While I’m NOT on board with P W S Anderson (OK, Event Horizon is a guilty pleasure). 

    I agree on the Kurt Wimmer front.  I’d like to see this guy do more stuff.  I thought UltraViolet was an absolute blast on all levels.  William Fichtner with Fangs!!  What’s not to love!

    Oh and I don’t know whether or not you’ve caught it yet, but Tarsem has that film he made all over the world, 2006’s THE FALL, Don’t know if it is actually available on DVD anywhere yet though.  And the IMDb says he’s got two more in production.

  3. Ard Vijn 12/04/2007 @ 6:32am

    I hear everyone say that Paul anderson is such a nice guy when you meet him. Now that I’ve seen pictures of him I totally believe that! He constantly has that “I can’t believe how lucky I am” look on his face.

    Nice list, just wish that McG would have been in it somewhere. With McG and Edgar Wright in one list our traffic would spike!

  4. Collin Armstrong 12/04/2007 @ 8:07am

    Joey, “thanks for existing” might be my fave comment in a post here, ever.

    I always feel kind of guilty for it, but I sort of hate PT Anderson’s last few films.  HARD EIGHT & BOOGIE NIGHTS are his only film I’ve found tolerable.  I’ll of course always give him a try, but so far the returns have done nothing but diminished.  I’ve enjoyed Paul WS’s work a little more consistently (love me some EVENT HORIZON and RESIDENT EVIL).

    Man, I love David Twohy.  BELOW is one of my fave horror films from the last few years - very unique.  Too bad about THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK.  Maybe not a career killer but man… yikes.

  5. sarkoffagus 12/04/2007 @ 1:50pm

    Kurt, I agree with you on Kurt Wimmer and ULTRAVIOLET. I thought said film was quite fun, and I’m looking forward to whatever else Wimmer might do.

    And Collin, I agree with you on BELOW. I wasn’t a big fan of PITCH BLACK—I thought it looked wonderful, but the visuals were all I really liked. I much prefer BELOW, which also looked good and had terrific atmosphere.

    As for Paul Anderson, I loved RESIDENT EVIL and EVENT HORIZON. And I didn’t think ALIEN VS. PREDATOR was that bad at all.

    Finally, I think Neil Marshall and Edgar Wright have made excellent films, and Wright additionally directed one of the greatest shows I’ve ever seen. They are both filmmakers to keep an eye on, my right eye, because it’s the dominant one.

    Great list, Joey!

  6. ChevalierAguila 12/04/2007 @ 6:53pm

    Paul Anderson is suppose to be still active, he’s working on a Death Race 2000 remake, at least he was (thankfully) removed from directing Castlevania. The guy might be a cool person, but he is an awful director in all fronts.

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