Oh. My. Gods. Battlestar Galactica season 4 premiere review!

Right. So where were we? At the end of last season Baltar was found not guilty of all charges against him in his trial and he was whisked off by some zealous followers. The fleet came to the Ionian Nebula and all the ships lost power. At the same time Tigh, Anders, Tyrol and Tory meet after following the same tune and they realize they are Cylons, four of the First Five. The fleet then regains power and there is a Cylon fleet out there waiting for them. Lee Adama jumps in a Viper and heads out to defend the fleet when an unidentified bogie comes up on his Draidis. He pursues and lo and behold it is the Viper piloted by Starbuck, who we thought we watched blow up when she chased a raider into the Mendela. Cut to credits. End of season three.

And where are we now? Damn. I really just want to talk to someone about this premiere that I just watched. But you’ll kill me if I say anything, won’t you? It’s not fear of death that is keeping me from spilling the beans. Both fans of the show and SciFi have orders to shoot on sight. I just want you to enjoy it. I’m going to try doing this without spoilers.

By now, everyone who is a fan of the show knows that this season opens up with a big ass battle. That news has been around for a while. From the opening shot to the title sequence it is go time. Vipers. Raptors. Raiders. Base Ships. Galactica. It has been a long time since I have seen a space battle this good. And for once they do something- I’ll call it ‘residual’- which had me asking why it took four seasons to see ‘that’ happen.

From there the episode follows three main lines. One, it’s about finding out where Starbuck has been. Has she really been to Earth? Is this some sort of Cylon trick? She claims to know the way to Earth. Adama, Roslin and Lee try to unravel this mystery and Starbuck tries to make sense of it herself. Two, the four of the First Five try to make sense of their own existence now that they know they are Cylons; starting with the questioning of their ‘human’ nature and what they do now. Three, Gaius Baltar is given sanctuary, a new lease on life, and he has to get used to his group of zealous followers.

I am sworn to secrecy about the final 15 minutes of the show. But you have to believe me when I say that when you watch it you’re going to say things like ‘No Frakkin’ Way!’ or ‘You’re Frakkin’ Kidding Me!’ and ‘That is Frakkin’ Awesome’! Dear gods, the show is only 45 minutes long and I can only temp you with the first 30. I can’t talk to anyone about it. I want water cooler conversation and I want it now, Frak it!

Fans rejoice. The Final Revelation begins in 3 days!